Sunday, August 14, 2011

Do i have some kind of hormone issue, my BDD is magnifying it...?

im 20 years old but ive already hair everywhere. EVERYWHERE. my cheek, not my beard but my cheeks have hair on them. it seems that wherever i accidentally shave, hair grows there. on top of that i think im slowly losing my hair, my teeth feel weak, and even my bones feel week. i always feel brittle like an old person. everyone thinks i have body dismorphia disorder, which i believe to be true, but does not make these conclusions any less true. so not only do i have a disorder that makes my mind distort my reflection, but it seems that it magnifies the progress of my body succeeding in falling apart. i dont know what to do but if your reading this and know what bdd is, you must know how dangerous it is to someones psychi, i used to be a very handsome person, but i feel like frankenstiens monster with all of what has been happening to me in the past years. its driving to a brink of insanity, ive isolated myself mentally because i feel that my disgusting image is too much to bear, and i feel like people always just lie to make me feel better, ive never done well because this disease has gotten the best of me, well now it really seems to be taking its toll since i feel like im falling apart. i have no job. i was homeless for 3 years. and my life has just been hell sinc i was 17... im now 20. and i dont ever feel like i can get back up. i feel like a 40 year old, thats digressed into the mentality of a 6 year old. im afraid of falling up into the sky. im afraid to make new friends, do new things, even do old things that made me happy. i used to be the most social, kind, funny, charismatic, and intelligent person you know... now i feel like im dying a slow and painful death.

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